One of the things I love about summer, is that I have the freedom and flexibility to travel. This was especially beneficial this past week. Jarrid had a deer sale in Indiana, Josh was working, so Ali was flying solo at the cabin with the deer. I decided to pack up the Tahoe and head west to spend a few days helping her with the deer, and getting in some much needed girl time. I got there Wednesday night, Jarrid was still there so we hung out and helped him get ready to head to the sale the next day. He left around 3:00PM, and had left us instructions about feeding the deer, checking the cabin down below, not going into town late, and basically not getting into any trouble. By now he should know that we don't seek out trouble, it just seems to find us.
He was honestly gone for not even five minutes. We had jumped on the ranger to take a drive around the property; we didn't even make it past the second pen of deer, when we were faced with trouble. Lying across the road, the only road that leads to the trails around the property, was covered in fallen trees. Not just one, skinny little twig, but four massive trunks. Looking at each other, we decide to jump out of the ranger and just push them off to the side of the road. I mean, how heavy can they be? I do bootcamp; I lift weights...we can do this! Long story short, we cannot do this. There was a lot of pushing, kicking, leaning, wiggling, and frustration that lead to half of the logs being moved. The other two were still in their original positions, refusing to budge. If trees could laugh, they were laughing at us.
We devise a plan to drive around the logs, which means that we need to drive through the brush. Off the beaten path, if you will. Let me just tell you that there are paths for a reason. Ali decided to walk the path we were going to take first, so that she could check that there were no major drop offs. Smart girl. There weren't, but there were major thorny plants that attacked her flip flopped feet. Oh yes, did I fail to mention that we were in nice shorts, t-shirts, flip flops, and full jewelry for this adventure? Engagement ring included. We hop back in the ranger for our off road adventure. We made it about a foot when we decided to turn around. The last thing we wanted to do was destroy a very expensive piece of machinery.
Defeated and frustrated we headed back to the barn to figure out what to do. If you know us at all, you know that defeat was not a possibility. We would find a way to get around those darn trees. Chainsaw! I learned how to use one the week before in SC and I was confident in my chainsawing abilities. I called Josh and requested the location of the chainsaw.
"What?"
"There is a tree down and I just want to slice it in to some easier to move pieces."
"No." (He has no faith in me)
"Yes. Trust me, I can do this."
"No."
"Josh seriously, I know how to do this."
"Even if I knew where it was I wouldn't tell you. Use the winch."
"The wench?"
"W-I-N-C-H"
"AHHHHH! Yes, the winch!"
For those of you who are unfamiliar with rangers, the winch is a mental rope that is in the front of the ranger that you can pull out and hook to things to pull/move them. Perfect for moving logs in your way, or I guess for moving the ranger if it gets stuck. Anyway, Josh gave me a reminder on how to operate it and we were ready. I will spare you the details, but let's just say that after about thirty minutes, I was bleeding, the log was in the same exact place, and I was stuck to the ranger. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, attached to the ranger without being able to detach myself from it. I don't know quite how it happened, but it did. Somehow, my shirt and the metal rope of the winch, got hooked on each other and we could not get them unhooked.
"Al I'm stuck."
"Huh?"
"I'm stuck to the ranger."
"Seriously?"
"Yes!"
"Oh, boy."
Now logic tells you to just rip the shirt, but it is my favorite shirt! Finally Ali was able to save me and I now have a new found respect for fish. Unhooked, still bleeding and defeated we decided to give up. Ali called Jarrid to tell him of our failure.
"Why don't you just drive around it?"
"We tried! We can't get through the bushes."
"No, the other side of the road. By the deer pens."
"Oh."
I'll paint you a picture. The right side of the road we were trapped on was filled with thorny bushes and trees. The ground was littered with branches and logs. Impassible. The left side had one large oak, and the fence of the deer pens about five feet away. Open as a field. I'll spare you the details, but we went to the left and were past the obstacle in 2.3 seconds.
The moral of this story is that two heads are not always better than one if they are both blonde.
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